As lovely as that
Autumn has silently fell
With yellow-red leaves
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
On the Way Home
I was at an information session in school about Napal volunteer work. It was fascinating. To consider ourselves as independant primary care doctors is exciting. I'm looking forward to the day when I can care for my patients and volunteer at a third world country from time to time.
So it was past 2:15pm when I drove into neigborhood. There it is at the end of the T shaped drive way into Woodlee Height, I saw in the distance a girl in white snow jacket with vivid teal trims, gray fleecy pants covered with peace signs, a great big bag in black, white and pink with cheetah prints hanging low on her side, long hair dancing up and down with every stride she took. She wasn't in a hurry or wandering around. She was heading somewhere with confident steps and no hestations. She is not any one else but my little girl Selena. I slowed down and drove close to her, rolled down my window and greeted her "Hi, Honeyball." She gave me a great big smile, the kind of smile she always gives me before she flies to my enbraces." She approached my car in several quick small steps and said: "Hi, Mommy. I will keep on walking. You can drive ahead. "
So I did, but somewhat hesitant to speed away. Selena started to pick up her pace, and was then runing along on the side walk so we are on the same pace. The flying long hair behind her took me to the same scenes just like this one in the years past, when she was two, three, four and when she was six along the parenting counciler who tried to help ex and I decide parenting time. This corner witnessed Selena's growth day by day, and registered so many glimps of our lives here, walking by, biking by, driving by, walking and driving at the same time like today...
Yet one thing is different. Selena is walking and running on her own today. I just happened to run into her as she was on her own path to her own destination. So I am a passer by in this picture. I an no longer the guardian angel to keep her safe and set a wall of protection with my car between her and the rest of the world.
At home, I fixed steak, brousel sprouts and rolls for my late lunch. She happily joined me. She almost never refuses meals with steaks. I asked Selena. What do you think of us moving to California after we sell the house? She said "I'm fine and pretty flexible right now." She added " I am not the same kid as I was before we lived in China for a year."
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of ife's longing for itself.
The come through you, not from youl
And though they are with you, they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but strive not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday,
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archers sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and he bends you with his might that the arrows may go swift and far.
Let your beding in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves the bow that is stable."
By Gibran
So it was past 2:15pm when I drove into neigborhood. There it is at the end of the T shaped drive way into Woodlee Height, I saw in the distance a girl in white snow jacket with vivid teal trims, gray fleecy pants covered with peace signs, a great big bag in black, white and pink with cheetah prints hanging low on her side, long hair dancing up and down with every stride she took. She wasn't in a hurry or wandering around. She was heading somewhere with confident steps and no hestations. She is not any one else but my little girl Selena. I slowed down and drove close to her, rolled down my window and greeted her "Hi, Honeyball." She gave me a great big smile, the kind of smile she always gives me before she flies to my enbraces." She approached my car in several quick small steps and said: "Hi, Mommy. I will keep on walking. You can drive ahead. "
So I did, but somewhat hesitant to speed away. Selena started to pick up her pace, and was then runing along on the side walk so we are on the same pace. The flying long hair behind her took me to the same scenes just like this one in the years past, when she was two, three, four and when she was six along the parenting counciler who tried to help ex and I decide parenting time. This corner witnessed Selena's growth day by day, and registered so many glimps of our lives here, walking by, biking by, driving by, walking and driving at the same time like today...
Yet one thing is different. Selena is walking and running on her own today. I just happened to run into her as she was on her own path to her own destination. So I am a passer by in this picture. I an no longer the guardian angel to keep her safe and set a wall of protection with my car between her and the rest of the world.
At home, I fixed steak, brousel sprouts and rolls for my late lunch. She happily joined me. She almost never refuses meals with steaks. I asked Selena. What do you think of us moving to California after we sell the house? She said "I'm fine and pretty flexible right now." She added " I am not the same kid as I was before we lived in China for a year."
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of ife's longing for itself.
The come through you, not from youl
And though they are with you, they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but strive not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday,
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archers sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and he bends you with his might that the arrows may go swift and far.
Let your beding in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves the bow that is stable."
By Gibran
Thursday, March 11, 2010
It's Good to Have a Girl
Woke up at 7:00am, exhausted as if I just came back from a marathon, I wasn't sure what happened? Weak or not, the only thought in my mind was to get breakfast ready, and get Selena to school. My whole body ached. It didn't occur to me that I had fever till the lady in the Chinese restaurant commented "you may have fever."
Left work at mid-day, I came home straight to bed, not even the energy to eat the take out food. Got up at 2:40pm, I headed to an acupuncture doctor -- I don't have much vacation; I can't be sick for long.
Out of the doctor's office at 4:00pm, I felt a little better. Drove to Selena's school to pick her up. Poor little girl, she was sad that I missed her Gingerbread village tour today; and her lost backpack was still not found yet. Luckily, Augie's parents Irene and Chris were there for the tour, and invited her to pair up with them. I bet a few "Augie-fans" in her class would have loved to be in her place.
At home, I crashed on the couch again. Selena could tell I was not feeling well. She brought me a blanket and tucked the blanket around my neck, kissed me on the forehead, said with a sweet gentle voice: "Don't worry, Mommy. I will take care of you."
She heated a cup of warm water in the microwave, and brought it over. (Note: According to Selena, she filled the water pitcher with water; waited for the water to drip; got a chair and stook on it so she could unplug the hot water dispencer; pour the hot water into the dispenser, waited for it to heat up; then brought me the water...I was too tired to notice how long it took her to do this. Sorry and thank you, girl!)
I asked her to bring me a thermometer, and there I found out that I still had a temperature of 101.5 -- That's why I was cold! Selena then warmed up my heating pad, and brought it over. This time she settled next to me and started to read a Junie B Jones book to me.
Half way into her book, I asked her to warm up the take-out for her dinner. After dissappearing into kitchen for a while, she reappeared with a plate with some rice, veggies and chickens evenly divided into the two sides of the dinner plate, warmed it up just the comfortable temperature, brought it over to the sofa with two forks and a pair of chopsticks. I can't resist, and ate some with her. After the meal, she took the plate to the kitchen, and joined me again. This time, I saw her reaching to pick out something in a cup.
"What's that?"
"A frozen strawberry."
"When did you get that?"
"Before I heat up the dinner." She said, " I thought you might like some frozen blueberry like I do whenever I'm sick. I couldn't find Blueberry, but luckily I saw a bag of frozen strawberry. Strawberries are good too. So I opened the bag, and brought two here. One for you, and one for me. " She paused a little, and said it with a lower voice and a sense of regret and almost shame. " Well... then I realize these might be too cold for you."
And she was right.
It is so good to a girl!
Left work at mid-day, I came home straight to bed, not even the energy to eat the take out food. Got up at 2:40pm, I headed to an acupuncture doctor -- I don't have much vacation; I can't be sick for long.
Out of the doctor's office at 4:00pm, I felt a little better. Drove to Selena's school to pick her up. Poor little girl, she was sad that I missed her Gingerbread village tour today; and her lost backpack was still not found yet. Luckily, Augie's parents Irene and Chris were there for the tour, and invited her to pair up with them. I bet a few "Augie-fans" in her class would have loved to be in her place.
At home, I crashed on the couch again. Selena could tell I was not feeling well. She brought me a blanket and tucked the blanket around my neck, kissed me on the forehead, said with a sweet gentle voice: "Don't worry, Mommy. I will take care of you."
She heated a cup of warm water in the microwave, and brought it over. (Note: According to Selena, she filled the water pitcher with water; waited for the water to drip; got a chair and stook on it so she could unplug the hot water dispencer; pour the hot water into the dispenser, waited for it to heat up; then brought me the water...I was too tired to notice how long it took her to do this. Sorry and thank you, girl!)
I asked her to bring me a thermometer, and there I found out that I still had a temperature of 101.5 -- That's why I was cold! Selena then warmed up my heating pad, and brought it over. This time she settled next to me and started to read a Junie B Jones book to me.
Half way into her book, I asked her to warm up the take-out for her dinner. After dissappearing into kitchen for a while, she reappeared with a plate with some rice, veggies and chickens evenly divided into the two sides of the dinner plate, warmed it up just the comfortable temperature, brought it over to the sofa with two forks and a pair of chopsticks. I can't resist, and ate some with her. After the meal, she took the plate to the kitchen, and joined me again. This time, I saw her reaching to pick out something in a cup.
"What's that?"
"A frozen strawberry."
"When did you get that?"
"Before I heat up the dinner." She said, " I thought you might like some frozen blueberry like I do whenever I'm sick. I couldn't find Blueberry, but luckily I saw a bag of frozen strawberry. Strawberries are good too. So I opened the bag, and brought two here. One for you, and one for me. " She paused a little, and said it with a lower voice and a sense of regret and almost shame. " Well... then I realize these might be too cold for you."
And she was right.
It is so good to a girl!
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